you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
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well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.