Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
