why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
