Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough