i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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