Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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