oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
