I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I would ride that face into the sunset
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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