Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
