What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
