His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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