i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
