His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
