I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
