I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
