Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
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after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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