i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
smell my finger.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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