lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
