Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
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Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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