I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
