Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize