I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Umm I'm too high to move.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
