He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
