he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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