"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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