Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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