But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
