Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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