It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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