I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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