Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ladies don't puke and tell
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