she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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