Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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