Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
