I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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