Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
