remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just pee around me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
