Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
