he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
