so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
how does that bad decision feel?
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