Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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