I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
