We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The air was thick with penises
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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