dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
