he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hippo gnu deer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
