where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he thought i was a dude.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
