So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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