butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
