I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize