Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
