quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
