i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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