When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
