I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize