You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
