You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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