lets start a swedish sibling band together
Four minutes until I can fart!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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