I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My breasts were aching with rage.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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