I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
