is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
