Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
