i was born a porn star she said
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
