never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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