He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
