You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
