I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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