New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We have started to decorate penises.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
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