worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
