found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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