She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize