I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
